Let’s open up…… or try to?

Nobody warns you what adult life will be like, or more importantly, how to be a mom when you have past grief your inner child never healed from. Maybe you have figured out how to heal and never randomly get tears in your eyes. If that’s you, share your secrets! Or maybe you are like me, hold everything in behind a giant wall, never showing emotions, never letting anyone in with a tiny splash of damage to the heart. If that is you, maybe you can relate to me through this post and not feel alone. That is the point of this blog after all 😘

I lost the most important person in my life when I was 8 years old. She should have been with me through all stages of life. She never taught me how to shave, how to drive, how to take a great picture, she never got to hold my hand through my wedding or meet my two wonderful babies. Every single time I think about the moment she took her last breath, it shatters my heart all over again. I have tried so many avenues on how to heal or maybe I was just hiding and covering it up. I think that’s it, I learned how to cover it up and push all of my feelings down deep, very very deep. Now I want to try to truly heal so I can talk about her to my kids with a smile instead of not bringing her up just so they don’t see me cry.

This is by far the toughest personal challenge I have put on myself to overcome. I know I have two little love bugs who will be by my side through every step and every obstacle. I know I need to let people in and be there for me but that fear of losing them is so hard to overcome, it sits in the pit of my stomach and I give into it every time. I have to be better, even if it’s just a little bit, I have two humans who rely on me where this has to happen.

Maybe while you are reading this, you realize you have something similar to me. Maybe you need someone to talk to or be an ear for you. Maybe you can find your friend who can share a bottle of wine with you and cry all the tears with you so you don’t feel alone. I have a few of those friends and maybe I should let them in more. Who knows, maybe we all just need to do it once and the realization will settle in that it’s okay to talk, cry, smile, laugh and let it all in. Maybe we can all heal ❤️

Lyfe is crazy! Lyfe is fun! Keep your Lyfe filled with love,

#momlyfe